In the modern hectic world of conflicting schedules, rushing between appointments, and balancing work, housework, family and some sort of social life is exhausting. We often feel like our lives are outside of our control.
But help is at hand! Here are 8 simple tips which will help you gain control over your life and begin to fashion the life that you want for yourself:
#1 Learn to Say No
It seems so natural and polite to just say yes to your friends’ plans, your parents’ invitations, your colleagues’ pleas for help, and the demands of your boss. But learning to say no will help you to control your life and protect your time, energy and wellbeing.
Knowing when to say no is key. Occasionally turning down a social invitation is acceptable. Rescheduling every now and then to protect your sanity is fine. Politely refusing to help your colleague with a project at the weekend is justifiable.
Say no when you need to. Keep it polite. And try to say no when first asked, as awkward as it may feel.
#2 Carve Out Time for Yourself
Now you have made time for the things and people you enjoy by saying no, remember to also carve out some time for yourself.
We can only give ourselves fully to our careers, families and friends if we have also given ourselves the time and care we need to thrive.
Find some time, no matter how small, to rest and take pleasure in simple things. Enjoying a book, taking a solitary walk, finding peace in a slow hobby, or relaxing in the bathtub are just some ways that you can find moments for yourself, even in a busy life.
Living slowly, and for ourselves, regularly will help you to feel more calm and in control of your own life.
#3 Make Your Own Rules
Separate your internal motivations from the external. Ask yourself: is this my dream, belief or plan, or is it someone else’s?
Throw out the conventions if they don’t suit you. Do things your own way and trust in your own instincts.
As hard as it is, ignore pressure from your family, friends, society, and especially social media.
All of the things that people might expect of you - whether it’s the high-pressure 9-5 job, the large and expensive wedding, children, or the lavish spend-it-all lifestyle - will not guarantee you happiness if it is not what you want. Instead, be brave enough to follow your own path.
#4 Treat Yourself with Kindness
Maybe you didn’t save as much as you wanted to from your last paycheck. Maybe you cancelled plans with a friend because you didn’t feel up to it. Maybe you didn’t complete your work project before the weekend. Whatever it is, treat yourself with kindness.
Treat yourself as you would your friend. You wouldn’t berate your friend for their spending or make them feel guilty for not taking work home on a weekend. So why do this to yourself?
Beating yourself up about what you haven’t achieved will not help you to achieve it. Taking a step back, viewing yourself with empathy and maintaining a kind inner voice (rather than an inner critic) will help you to achieve far more in life and be happier while doing it.
#5 Try New Things
Just as important as it is to learn to say no, sometimes saying yes will enrich your life.
Trying out a new hobby, developing a new skill, expanding your social circle or learning something new are all great ways to find new meaning in your life. Doing activities that are meaningful to us and that bring us joy help to improve our life satisfaction.
#6 Disconnect
The amount of information which surrounds us in the digital world adds stress, over-stimulation, and the desire for external approval, which we just don’t need.
Taking time to disconnect from your devices - and especially social media - can help you to feel more in control of your life. Not only will you regain time from your attention-sucking device, you will find more headspace and feel an improvement in your mental wellbeing, even from reducing your screen time by just 30 minutes a day.
Take this newly-gained time and turn it into something which will add positively to your life. Get out into nature, catch up with a friend face-to-face, spend time doing your favourite hobbies, or simply take some time for yourself.
#7 Build Work Boundaries
Hectic work schedules can easily take over our lives if we let them. Carving out time for some sort of life when your job continues to demand more and more from you can be difficult. But it is a struggle worth your energy.
Protect your home life by avoiding work emails out of hours, keeping your work stuff out of sight and mind, and enjoying your hours off.
#8 Let Go of What You Cannot Control
Perhaps the hardest, but most rewarding, step towards feeling more in control of your life is to learn to let go of what you cannot control.
Freeing yourself from unnecessary stress and worry about events or people which are beyond your control will free up your mind, mood and energy.
Ask yourself, will you even remember this thing you are worrying about in five years? Most likely, the answer will be no, and so you should let it go.
