If you want to be self-confident, you must also have the guts to reject or say no when confronted with an opportunity that you don't want to participate in. The term "pleasant" is often misunderstood by many individuals. It doesn’t mean that you have to do exactly what other people expect of you. It’s completely fine to turn someone down every once in a while, particularly when the said action comes at the cost of your own interest.
In your personal and professional life, if you see yourself responding positively all the time, you're not doing it for yourself, but for the people you care about. Helping others when you wish to and have the means to do so without jeopardizing your own well-being is what it means to be kind. In order to rise above the others, you must have the self-confidence to say no to things you don't want to. That's a problem you need to address. To aid you out, here are some pointers.
1. Develop Your Self-Assertion Skills
For starters, you should practise being assertive, which means being more firm and decisive in your statements. If someone asks you to do something with which you are uncomfortable, you should make a firm decision about your response rather than making an effort to appease that person.
If you want to be forceful, you don't have to be rude. As an apology, you may simply explain why you couldn't do more. "I'm sorry, but I can't assist you because I have other commitments." is an appropriate response that is both polite and firm. If you are met with insistence, it is okay to repeat your answer.
2. Acting Like a Broken Record Is Perfectly Okay
When you don't receive what you want from someone, they'll keep trying to get you to say yes until you do. People who lack self-assurance are particularly vulnerable to this strategy, which is why it is so effective. Keep in mind that if someone has the courage to ask you for a favor repeatedly, you have no obligation to respond positively just because they have asked multiple times.
Begin by apologizing or making an explanation, but if they persist, it's time to step up your game. Say "no" instead of "I'm sorry" to send a clear message. It is important to build yourself as a decisive person at your workplace if you don’t want to be taken for granted. If someone is not kind and understanding enough to reciprocate your courtesy, it is time to be blunt.
3. You Can Refuse Anything Someone Asks You to Do
You're not being polite if you always say yes when someone asks for something; you're being a people-pleaser. There are those who assume that saying yes to everything is a sign of kindness, but this isn't the case. Before you can serve others, you have to put yourself first. Always keep in mind that you have the freedom to decline an invitation or provide an explanation.
The word "no" should not be equated with rudeness or selfishness, but rather with placing your own demands above those of others. You're not only entitled to do so, but it's the only way we've been able to live. At work, it can become a bit more challenging to say no, particularly if the request is made by someone in a higher position than you. In that scenario, politely explain the reason so they understand where your refusal is coming from.
4. Set and Maintain Boundaries
When you go out of your way to help someone, they may begin to take advantage of your generosity. In the event that you've already dropped off a colleague, it doesn't indicate you have to do so every day. You should apologize graciously and plainly inform them that it is not feasible for you to drop them off every day by going out of your way.
It's fine to employ a delay strategy or an excuse if someone isn't skilled at taking a hint. In order to build your self-esteem, you must be willing to say no to expectations placed on you by others.
5. Negotiate a Compromise If You So Desire
Negotiating a compromise is preferable if you want to say yes, but it would put you in a lot of problems. Keep in mind that saying no does not mean refusing to assist others, but rather prioritizing your own desires and needs above those of others. It is easier to assist others if you can help yourself first.
The Final Word
Become more confident by learning to say no when you don't want to participate in a certain activity. In order to be a pleasant person, it is not necessary to say yes to everything. It's for this reason that you need to have self-esteem, clarity of purpose, and self-assuredness.
